cameras, carrots and kisses
by AkiAkiChan
Summary: Spencer receives a package that makes him relive his college days. Rated M for future chapters. Spencer x Ethan
1. Chapter 1

Don't own Criminal Minds…

College roommates

Spencer, Ethan, Nick, Stefan, Andrew, Logan

Ethan and Spencer met in Psychology class. Logan is Ethan's friend. Nick is Spencer's lab partner and friend. Stefan and Andrew are friends of Spencer and Nick. They room together in a house while all attend Caltech for different things.

It was a quiet day in the BAU. The kind everyone hoped for, secretly or not-so-secretly. Dr. Spencer Reid _loved _paperwork days. Today was his kind of day.

Until the package arrived.

The poor UPS guy, with an FBI escort, had carried the huge box up for him. After Spencer signed for it, he read the package for clues. It had absolutely no clues. He tore it open and found a letter.

_Spenny,_

_I found these videos I shot during college. I know you have an eidetic memory and all, but you can't remember every moment perfectly right? So I thought that with your job and all, you should have them. You'd get better use out of them anyway. Some of the labels wore off, but I'm sure you'll figure out when it was taken._

_Take time to remember the good,_

_Nick _

Spencer smiled. Leave it to Nick to do something like this.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay…soooooo I'm going to make Spencer less emotionally guarded than in the show…kay?

"Hey kid, what's in the box?" Morgan asked, attempting to peek.

Spencer promptly shut the box and said, "Shouldn't you be working?"

"But it's almost lunch time!" Morgan protested.

At that moment Hotch came out of his office to suggest lunch. Creepily, Garcia also entered the bullpen to announce that she had ordered Chinese for everyone.

"OH! What's in the box, Junior G-man?" Garcia asked, flouncing over.

"A friend of mine sent me some tapes from college and told me to remember the good times. He worries about me," Spencer paused and ran his finger along the box. "He told me once that he wants me to work with him in engineering. He once said that he'd rather have the five of us together again than watch us fall apart like…like all of our families did." Spencer pulled out a picture from his desk.

In it were five grinning young men. The whole team was intrigued, the fact that Spencer was revealing something emotional along with stories of the past made them want to know more but they didn't want to push him.

Spencer pointed to the guy on the far right. "That's Logan. He was Ethan's friend first and always kind of scared me, but he grew on me. Towards the end we were as close as either one of us would allow. Next to him is Stefan. He was a bit of an oddball. The one in the middle is Ethan. He's a jazz musician now, but he was in my psychology class." Spencer was next, so he pointed to the man on the left of him. "This is Nick. He's a good friend of mine and the only one who I've seen in years besides Ethan. And this last guy is Andrew. He was my lab partner and we became really close."

Spencer paused for a few minutes. "I think…I think we were so…so close because we all shared something. Logan was in the foster system for 10 years. Ethan never knew his dad. Stefan was abandoned at his grandparents' house when he was 2. Nick's mom was a drug addict. Andrew's mom left his family and his dad was bipolar. My dad left and mom is schizophrenic."

Everyone was really quiet. No one knew what to say. Luckily, the delivery man came and they went into the conference room to eat.


	3. Chapter 3

They were all munching happily, chatting, and generally leaving Reid to his thoughts when Garcia asked the question that was on all of their minds.

"Hey Spencer," Garcia asked, "Do you want to watch one of those videos? I thought maybe you'd want to see one? And to be honest, I'm sure we're all wondering what you were like in college."

Spencer looked up from his meal and said, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

Garcia smiled and said, "I'll go get the box!" When she returned, she looked in the box, pulled one out and stuck it in the VCR.

When it started, it had a bit of fuzz before it cleared and the camera whipped around to face the camera man.

_Okay. So I'm testing out my new camera. Let's go see what everyone else is doing._ The camera man (Spencer IDed him as Nick) started to walk around the house. _Okay, so Logan is eating. Typical. Boooorrrring. _Some more bouncing of the camera caused by walking and Stefan reached Andrew's room. _Dru is studying. Boooooorrring. _A slight pause, and some fumbling as Stefan starts to move again. _Let's see what Spencer's doing. Maybe he'll be blowing something up again._

At this point, Hotch paused it and asked, "Again?"  
>"Chemical accident," Spencer said smiling. Hotch hit play again.<p>

_Hmmm…where is Spencer? He's not in his room. Let's find Ethan then. _Nick went into Ethan's room to find Ethan and Spencer arguing about psychology. _God! No one in this house does anything interesting! __**SHUT UP! Ethan and Spencer yelled.**_Nick quickly backed out to find Stefan jumping up and down on the couch. _I would ask…but I don't wanna know._


	4. Chapter 4

"Ooo Ooo, can we watch another one, Junior G-man? That one was short!" Garcia begged, practically bouncing up and down in her seat. Spencer just smiled and nodded. Garcia pulled a video out at random. "This one has a label. Well, actually more like initials. SR-C," Garcia paused, "What's SR dash C?"

Spencer thought about it while Garcia got up to switch the tapes. "Spencer Rei—" Spencer was interrupted by Nick's chipper voice.

_Okay guys! So today's the last day of the cooking contest. Now for a recap, Ethan cooked Jambalaya, Logan made ribs, I ordered pizza because I can't cook, Dru made spaghetti, and Stefan made lasagna. Today Spencer's making…What are you making?_

_**Root vegetable bake and honey glazed chicken.**_

_And there won't be any, uh, accidents?_

**Spencer looked up at the camera. **_**If by "accident" you mean a knife going through that camera lens, then yes. **_**Spencer smirked at the camera and lifted the knife.**

_Alright, alright, I'll stop mentioning it. Actually, I think I'm going to put this on the tripod. I'll leave you to it then._

_**Good boy.**_** Spencer returned to chopping up the carrots.**

At this point the team quickly glanced at the current day Spencer. None of them could imagine him threatening anyone with a knife, smirking or cooking. They weren't saying that he couldn't cook; it was just that they couldn't see him doing it. For whatever reason, they had always imagined him as a take-out every night kind of guy or the kind of guy who makes microwave dinners. Not the kind of guy who makes…root vegetable back and honey glazed chicken. Their attention turned back to the screen as Ethan crept up behind Spencer while using the universal signal for silence.

What happened next, no one was prepared for. Not even Spencer.

Ethan had grabbed Spencer around the middle and had swiftly turned him around and kissed him.

Both the current Spencer Reid and the college Spencer Reid made a croaking sound. However, their next actions were extremely different. The Spencer on screen gaped like a fish.

_**Why—why—why…**_

_**Why did I just kiss you? Simple. You're cute when you cute. Well…you're cute all the time, but you're especially cute when you cook.**_Spencer just continued to gape. Just as Ethan was leaning in to kiss Spencer again, a fist connected with Ethan's face. This fist was not Spencer's, it was Dru's. _Fucking ass. Who told you it was alright to go around kissing other people's boyfriends?_

The entire team was in shock. They were enthralled by what was happening. Then the screen turned off. Spencer Reid had finally moved, he had gotten over his shock. Spencer stood in front of the team, hands shaking and refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"Spence…" JJ started.

Spencer Reid ran out of the room. The events that he had just paused were taking over his brain. All this time, he was trying to forget that day. Of course he wouldn't be allowed to forget. He had an eidetic memory and a box of tapes.


	5. Chapter 5

_Nick __**Spencer **__**Ethan**_ _Dru_ Stefan

Spencer stood in the men's bathroom, washing his face. He stared at himself in the mirror, willing himself to forget that day. But he couldn't. Why would he even bother to try?

**flashback**

Ethan shoved Dru back. _**Maybe if you treated your boyfriend more like a boyfriend, I wouldn't have kissed him. Spencer deserves better attention.**_ _Get your head out of OUR business! Just because I don't smother him in kisses all the time, doesn't mean I don't care about him!_ _**REALLY?! Because to me, it looks like you don't care at all!**_ _I do care!_ _**Prove it! Tell him you love him!**_ Dru looked at Spencer. _I…I…I…can't. I'm sorry Spencer. Maybe Ethan's right. You deserve better._ Dru walked out of the kitchen. _**Dru…**_Spencer said, reaching out. _**Spencer…**_ _**Please leave me alone. Tell Nick to order Pizza, I'm not cooking anymore.**_ Ethan left the kitchen. Spencer turned back to the food, shoved it aside and left. A few minutes later, Nick came in and turned off the camera.

**end flashback**

Spencer remembered exactly how he felt that day, and the days following. He had trusted Dru...loved him even. His heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces, even though he knew it wasn't possible. Spencer slid down and sat on the floor, back to the wall, arms around his knees, just like that day.

**another flashback**

_**Dru? I wanted to talk. **__About what?_ _**About us.**_ _What us?_ _**So we're over then. …I thought…I thought… **__You thought what?_ _**I thought you cared. **__Well you thought wrong._

Spencer soon figured out what Dru meant. Dru wanted a relationship with him because he thought that he wouldn't expect much. Maybe Dru wanted to be able to love Spencer, but he couldn't. Not if he didn't love himself first. Spencer eventually forgave Dru, but things could never go back to the way they were. Dru soon left the house they all shared and dropped out of college. He stopped all contact with them, and eventually, even Nick stopped trying. The heartbroken Spencer threw himself even deeper into his studies. In the videos that followed, Spencer would become more serious and quiet. He would participate in the activities, but his heart was no longer in it. Ethan wisely backed off.

**end flashback**

Spencer got up off the floor and went back to work. Surprisingly no one had come in to bother him. When he got to his desk, the box of videos was back on the floor next to it and Garcia was waiting with a cup of coffee for him. "I'm sorry, Spencer. If I had known…"

"It's alright Garcia. You didn't know. That one hell of a way to come out though, I suppose," Spencer said, adding a small smile at the end. Garcia hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I'll love you no matter what Babe," she said and went back to her lair.

Spencer finished his work for the day and hitched a ride from Morgan.

"Spencer, why didn't you tell me you were gay? I'd still be your best friend, but maybe I would have stopped trying to hook you up with ladies," Morgan asked after a while.

"I kind of went back in the closet when I joined the FBI and I just never knew how to broach the subject. Coming out is always difficult." There was a brief silence, and then Spencer continued. "You know, Ethan was in FBI training for a few days. Neither one of us was ever really flamboyantly gay, but I think he didn't want to hide who he was. I think that's why he left."

"You never talked about why he left?"

"He just left a note. 'I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry Spence, but I'm leaving. I'll phone you when I find a place to stay. Ethan'. That was it. No further explanation, and when I asked, he just said 'it wasn't for me. I couldn't do it.' I've never really been sure what he meant by that. If I managed to get through physical training, clearly he could have."

"I don't think that was it Pretty Boy."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, why do you think he came between you and Dru?"

"…Ethan was always flirty. It was nothing new."

"Kissing you and telling you that you deserve better and flirting are two entirely different things. Spencer, I think Ethan was jealous."

"Jealous."

"Yeah, of Dru. He wanted you for himself."

"Really? Then why…"

"Why what?"

"Why did he stop talking to me as much after Dru left?"

"He was giving you space. But when you went back into the closet, I suppose he just sort of gave up. There's only so much waiting a man can do. After a while, it's gotta hurt too much."

"Oh. I never thought of that."

"Man, you are DENSE."


End file.
